Hey boys,
What’s up? Are you guys ready for this season? Because I am. After coming off a very disappointing loss in the final last year, I had a lot of time to ponder my legacy as a fantasy football player. And yes, I know my legacy cannot be tarnished and I may be by far the best player in this league but frankly last season bothered me. I really thought I was going to taste the sweet nectar of victory that fuels me not only as a fantasy football guru but also a person. But rather than once again conquering, I tasted the bitter taste of loss that still leaves me trying to get it out of my mouth. In my deep state of thought I was able to mull over the mistakes I had last year that landed me in the unfamiliar situation of not winning the league for once. Maybe it was trading away Mark Ingram, but that’s neither here nor there.
As I came to grips with the reality of second place, I was also able to think about life and the trials and tribulations it throws at you. In the end I was able to conclude that deep down in the bottom of my heart that I’m actually still pretty upset about losing. Maybe it’s a winner’s thing most of you may not be familiar with, but once I experienced victory I decided I couldn’t handle not doing it anymore. Its almost like an addiction that festers in the back of my head each and every day that calls out for me to satisfy the need to win in fantasy football. Now you may be reading this and be thinking “PJ how did you manage to cope with withdrawal in the offseason?”. Frankly the answer was a mean addiction to Overwatch to compensate. This was enough to tide me over until now but now that the draft approaches, the hunger has returned.
As I see some of you caught on to my strategy of drafting within the top 2 and using that player as the cornerstone of my team. But this year is a new challenge with me drafting 5th overall and it will pose new issues I haven’t had to deal with since the season before my first conquest of this league. But I do not let this deter me, as I relish the opportunity to adapt and overcome to regain my rightful throne. The reason I decided to write this column was not to slap all of you on the ass and tell you good luck, its to warn you. I will return with vengeance in my eyes not seen since Ron Artest ascended the seats in the Palace of Auburn Hills to beat up that middle-aged dude who threw a beer at him.
Although I will not physically conquer you all (being the shortest kid in the league has its drawbacks), I will do my best to dominate the head space and make you fear the day you line up against Sexual Misconduct. Consider this a friendly reminder I’m still here and do not plan to go any time soon. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, and I hope all of you have an awful season.
<3
Patrick Joseph Perry
What’s up? Are you guys ready for this season? Because I am. After coming off a very disappointing loss in the final last year, I had a lot of time to ponder my legacy as a fantasy football player. And yes, I know my legacy cannot be tarnished and I may be by far the best player in this league but frankly last season bothered me. I really thought I was going to taste the sweet nectar of victory that fuels me not only as a fantasy football guru but also a person. But rather than once again conquering, I tasted the bitter taste of loss that still leaves me trying to get it out of my mouth. In my deep state of thought I was able to mull over the mistakes I had last year that landed me in the unfamiliar situation of not winning the league for once. Maybe it was trading away Mark Ingram, but that’s neither here nor there.
As I came to grips with the reality of second place, I was also able to think about life and the trials and tribulations it throws at you. In the end I was able to conclude that deep down in the bottom of my heart that I’m actually still pretty upset about losing. Maybe it’s a winner’s thing most of you may not be familiar with, but once I experienced victory I decided I couldn’t handle not doing it anymore. Its almost like an addiction that festers in the back of my head each and every day that calls out for me to satisfy the need to win in fantasy football. Now you may be reading this and be thinking “PJ how did you manage to cope with withdrawal in the offseason?”. Frankly the answer was a mean addiction to Overwatch to compensate. This was enough to tide me over until now but now that the draft approaches, the hunger has returned.
As I see some of you caught on to my strategy of drafting within the top 2 and using that player as the cornerstone of my team. But this year is a new challenge with me drafting 5th overall and it will pose new issues I haven’t had to deal with since the season before my first conquest of this league. But I do not let this deter me, as I relish the opportunity to adapt and overcome to regain my rightful throne. The reason I decided to write this column was not to slap all of you on the ass and tell you good luck, its to warn you. I will return with vengeance in my eyes not seen since Ron Artest ascended the seats in the Palace of Auburn Hills to beat up that middle-aged dude who threw a beer at him.
Although I will not physically conquer you all (being the shortest kid in the league has its drawbacks), I will do my best to dominate the head space and make you fear the day you line up against Sexual Misconduct. Consider this a friendly reminder I’m still here and do not plan to go any time soon. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, and I hope all of you have an awful season.
<3
Patrick Joseph Perry